Tips from Stephen King's first editor

Here's an excerpt of what the famous editor had to say after reading my full manuscript:

The good news is your nifty plot. Young couple starting a new chapter of their marriage by moving in the waters off Seattle. A series of mysterious deaths lead them to conclude their decision was a dangerous one.

Your chapters are identified by the names of the principals involved in each. It’s a useful device to establish balance, pacing and suspense. It works beautifully.

The bad news is that you don’t take advantage of your plot’s possibilities. Your writing is clear, but you lose sight of the fact that you’re telling a story that requires an atmosphere initially alerting the reader to complex characters and then creating an ever-building sense of menace.

...We will believe that Sesula—like the lovebirds in THE BIRDS or the Overlook hotel in THE SHINING—is a malevolent entity, but you’ve got to create it for us. Show us the dark shape lurking under the water, show us the brain-like ridges that seemingly reveal themselves at low tide, show us the water that mysteriously swirls around rather than over Sesula. 

...You’ve got a lot of rewriting to do, but you’re capable of it, and you’ll have a better, i.e., more saleable book. I think it’s worth the effort.

Bill Thompson

Now you know what I'll be up to in the upcoming months.

EJ

Working with a literary legend

The editor who discovered Stephen King and John Grisham has offered to critique my novel. William
G. Thompson edited Stephen King's first four novels: Carrie, 'Salem's Lot, The Shining, and The Stand–some of my favorite books. I feel extremely fortunate to have his interest and insights.

I just popped my manuscript in the mail last week, so it will be a few weeks before he'll get back to me with a full critique. 

But, if you're interested, here's what he had to say about the first fifty pages:

Nice stuff. He’s got all the ingredients for a good horror thriller. First of all, we’ve got a great setting—the island-dotted Vancouver area in the Pacific Northwest. We’ve got the young wife moving her mainland shared veterinary practice to their not-so-new island home. Her husband will work as a charter fishing guide. The opportunities for a new life, to include children, seem to outweigh the challenges presented.

The island is remote, made moreso by the presence of a submerged, sinister rock formerly part of the island. Its dark, hulking form is not only a navigational hazard but carries with it generations (?) of Native American stories of its malice toward any who sail near it.

The stories are easily dismissed, but trigger in our protagonist heroine her deeply felt wariness—perhaps fear—of untamed water. The story will justify her fears.

More to come.

Ethan