Here's an excerpt of what the famous editor had to say after reading my full manuscript:
The good news is
your nifty plot. Young couple starting a new chapter of their marriage by
moving in the waters off Seattle. A series of mysterious deaths lead them to
conclude their decision was a dangerous one.
Your chapters are
identified by the names of the principals involved in each. It’s a useful
device to establish balance, pacing and suspense. It works beautifully.
The bad news is
that you don’t take advantage of your plot’s possibilities. Your writing is
clear, but you lose sight of the fact that you’re telling a story that requires
an atmosphere initially alerting the reader to complex characters and then
creating an ever-building sense of menace.
...We will believe that
Sesula—like the lovebirds in THE BIRDS or the Overlook hotel in THE SHINING—is
a malevolent entity, but you’ve got to create it for us. Show us the dark shape
lurking under the water, show us the brain-like ridges that seemingly reveal
themselves at low tide, show us the water that mysteriously swirls around
rather than over Sesula.
...You’ve got a lot
of rewriting to do, but you’re capable of it, and you’ll have a better, i.e.,
more saleable book. I think it’s worth the effort.
Bill Thompson
Now you know what I'll be up to in the upcoming months.
EJ
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